It already looks like an eternity since you started dating him, you still can’t find the least of a clue when he is going to take the relationship to the next level. You can’t help but wonder why he is hesitant to commit to you.
And while it’s almost driving you crazy, he seems least bothered. If you find yourself in this scenario, then higher chance that you are dealing with a commitmentphobe.
It’s not you, of course, it’s him. Fret no more though. Below are some helpful secrets that will help you unlock even the most phobic commitmentphobe. Embracing them will help you help him take the relationship a notch higher where you once envisioned.
Attraction obviously lies at the core of every relationship, but it goes beyond just a perfect size 8 figure. How far do you go in taking care of yourself? Do you prioritise your health? Although he won’t admit it, when he’s considering taking that next step, these are the question that crosses his mind. He uses them to project how your kids will look like. He wants to be sure you will take good care of them. How you take care of yourself is a key pointer for him in making that commitment. check out the article “How to Attract Men” to learn more.
Being with you is easy.
There is no drama and no pressure. The line between how he relates with his best friends and how he relates to you is almost non-existent. Just as he finds it easy being around them, so does he find it easy and enjoyable being around you too. If this is the case, then he’ll just want to be around you always, prompting him to make that next move.
You make him feel amazing.
Compliments are known to lighten up one’s heart. He knows you like compliments, but when you also reciprocate the gesture, he will feel appreciated. As a result, he will crave being with you even more and feel compelled to make the commitment.
However, if he has to get compliments elsewhere, don’t be surprised if you lose his heart. Men’s fragile ego renders them vulnerable; anyone can effortlessly push their ego button. Push that ego button relentlessly and he will not only stay but also label things.
He knows he makes you happy.
It’s up to a man to please his woman. Nothing compares to boosting a man’s ego than the sense of accomplishment in knowing he makes his woman happy. If you always seem to find a reason to complain about anything around him, then consider burying your hopes of him committing. Why should he persist in a job he doesn’t seem to get right anyway? However, if you make it crystal clear to him that he measures up in pleasing you, then he will surely want to put ink to paper.
You are different.
Any man who knows how to dial the right buttons can get just about any girl in bed with no intentions whatsoever of anything serious. Just a fling! However, a man that seeks commitment doesn’t want an easily swayed girl. If you turn out to be that distinguished type, incomparable to no other that he has ever known, then getting him to commit won’t be a puzzle.
You easily share your feelings.
Women are the most emotive group of the human species, and men know this too well. They even expect you to be more adept in discussing these feeling. It, however, doesn’t mean that men are void of feelings. They just don’t readily express them.
If you share your feelings effortlessly without expectations or pressure, then he will also be more inclined to do the same. So don’t try playing the aloof cool girl. He will buy his time until he comes by someone he knows will be willing to share her feelings with him; someone he can connect to emotionally. Be that someone to him and he will take things a notch higher.
You don’t pressure him to commit.
Relationships do not move to the next level based on one conversation. They move to that level because of all of the aforementioned variables rolled into one. Over time, this woman has become someone who made him feel amazing and who he doesn’t want to lose. He does not decide to commit because you sat him down with The Talk and showed him two options remaining for your relationship.
The bottom line
It’s tempting to argue that men are different when it comes to commitment. The truth though is, we humans, and thus men, are inclined to behave in the same manner. We gravitate towards what is makes us feel good, and with equal measure, we move away from what dampens our spirit.
Even self-professed commitmentphobes aren’t really phobic about commitment; it is in human nature to desire a lifetime partner. They are simply scared of forever being trapped with the wrong person. Getting a man to commit goes beyond planning a special night and one conversation. It’s about building a relationship that is comfortable enough for both of you to live the rest of your lives together. [Read also “How to Get Him to Propose”].