No one likes somebody who nags them all the time. Nobody. Being belittles and bullied is something that everyone despises. It’s the action of somebody who’s intellectually lazy, and who does not have any respect for their partner.
A person who nags is someone who is incapable of, or cannot be bothered with, finding a reasonable way to communicate, and instead treats their spouse in the worst way possible.
It destroys marriages, it makes children sullen and resentful, and it makes your friends abandon you. And, as mentioned already, it does not work. The bullying nagger always assumes that if they harp on something often enough, it will ‘sink in’ and their victim will eventually come around to their way of thinking.
Following that, some suggestions and replacement behaviors are all you need to nip your nagging in the bud. so use this tips to learn how to stop nagging and become a great person to be with.
Use a tactic called carefrontation.
We need to honour our partners and make them feel better about themselves, not worse. Build up your spouse, do not tear him down. Nothing can destroy a relationship faster than bullying your partner and making them feel bad about themselves. If you do, you may be making them vulnerable to someone else who will be happy to give them the love and support they do not get at home.
* Explain how you feel, not how he is the bad guy.
Treat your spouse like an adult, and let them live with the consequences of their actions. Express disappointment when they let you down, but do not dwell on it, and do not call them names. Talk to your spouse about why they have trouble remembering certain things, or why they refuse to do others. You might be surprised at what you learn, and you can work with them – kindly – to change their behaviour.
* Remember that you are on the same team.
For men, there is a solution to this. Do not just automatically say that you will do something without thinking about it first. If you’re not going to be able to pick up the dry cleaner, or return the videos, or defrost the chicken, say so.
If you think you might forget and need a phone call or a Post-It for a reminder, say so. If you just do not want to do it, say so. Any conversation that results from these responses is preferable to continuing the ugly cycle of ask, fail, nag, fail, anger that turns one spouse into a bully and the other into a victim.
* Give him a timeline and a proposed solution.
Sadly, many men feed the cycle of nagging with their own behavior, perhaps because they were nagged by their mothers, and on some level, they believe that this is the inevitable relationship between men and women.
The way it usually goes is like this, a woman asks a man to do something. He says he will, and then he does not do it. The woman then gets annoyed and asks him again, this time with an edge in her voice. The man feels unfairly picked on, digs in his heels, and still does not do it. Now the woman is angry and lets him know that she wants it done NOW. And so, finally, the man does as he was asked – and reinforces for both of them the dynamic that the only way he will do anything is for her to nag him constantly.
* Try understanding, rather than assuming.
Men do forget the things we ask or tell them to do. Moreover, they may keep on forgetting things no matter how many times we ask. Try to find some more effective ways of communication than nagging. Try to write down the list of things to be done in a scribbling pad which you may hand over to your man. Alternatively, you may also use phones for sending SMS messages though make sure to be conscious also of the tone of your message.
* Let him understand as well.
Analyse what you are doing and make a change today. If you know the difference between nagging and correcting you can make an educated choice. Changing a habit like this is difficult. It’s okay to stop yourself mid-nag and start over. Apologies for nagging if you do it and make a fresh start by correcting instead. Lead your family to greater relationship happiness by being the example of focus and change.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line when it comes to quitting nagging is to understand that communication barriers are the key to it all. Not communicating properly with your partner will lead you down the nagging path. It’s about remembering that you are on the same team and that he is not your underling. Using the words that brought the two of you together when you first started dating, and getting back into that swing of communication you were once so good at, is all that you need to do to stop nagging for good.